Fine is not fine!

Fine.
Fine, I learnt, is not a word I should say.
Fine, I learnt, is not a feeling I should live with.
‘I’m fine’, I said even though I was not
‘It’s fine’, I said every time I did not approve of what someone did.
‘I’m fine’, I said every time some hurt me.
I’ve lived life saying ‘fine’ to anything and everything because I valued the person than I valued myself.
I said ‘fine’ because I did not want to hurt their feelings.
I said ‘fine’ because I did not want to dis the other.
I said I was fine to do things, though I was busy because the other mattered to me.
I said ‘fine’ to evade confrontations.
I said ‘fine’ to hold on to peace.
I said ‘fine’ because I thought, the other too would understand.
But I never realised,
When I said, it’s fine, their actions are validated.
When I said I’m fine, I approved of the way they treated me.
When I did not want to hurt their feelings, they did not see the problem.
When I said fine, every time they asked a favour, they never realised they were my priority.
I realised, my intentions might be pure, but the message received is not always what I intend.
I realised, sometimes my intentions are pure just to mask my insecurities.
So ‘fine’, is a word I’d use no more,
Unless I have to pay a fine or
I want to say, fine dining.

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