Hazy Sunshine

The room is well lit with all kinds of brain and spine charts hanging. Describing causes and remedies,positive quotes, certificates and achievements.

Me: Okay? I don’t quite get it.

Doc: A year at the most. May be two, if you’re lucky. We must…

That’s it. That is all my bewildered mind could take it as I rushed out of the Neuro-Oncology section of the hospital.

Stumbling on the stairs, I rushed out. To the gloomy weather outside. dark clouds, muddy boots, little puddles everywhere..  a trickle of water runs down my forehead as I halt gasping for breath. It’s salty. This is not right. My sneakers are pretty clean, birds chirping, cars honking and the sun is shining quite happily. This isn’t happening. I’m dying. The sun can’t shine and birds just can’t chirp so happily. the gloomy weather in my head suited my situation better.

I should tell my girlfriend, my friends. 

No! I can’t let the world pity me.

I need to explore places, go bungee jumping, earn, play at concerts, make love.

This can’t happen, not just yet. No, the walls are moving around. The clouds are drifting away, people are turning hazy ,things are going far away. oh I’m unable to reach the bottle on the floor. My head is turning heavy. I don’t want to worry my parents! It’s getting dark to live in here now. I cant feel my fingers! my girlfriend will be shattered or I hope she will be. I can feel my intestines entangling. It’s all moving faster! It’s all *mumbling* going away!



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